


Lesbians Aren't Even Real

by Curvynpervy



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Cheerleader!cosette, F/F, M/M, Marius being a little pissbaby, Under age smoking, punk!eponine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 00:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1798321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curvynpervy/pseuds/Curvynpervy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Courfeyrac tries to prove to Marius that asking out a girl isn't so hard. The response he gets from the girl he asks is... unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lesbians Aren't Even Real

**Author's Note:**

> Based off http://arocourf.tumblr.com/post/88913379142/cosette-and-eponine-high-school-au-where-cosette-is-the

Cosette walked the halls of her high school with a bow in her hair, a smile on her face, and the knowledge that everyone really truly adored her. She knew that people liked her but she didn’t want to take that for granted. She was a cheerleader of the perky blonde variety, and if she ever took on the annoying quality that often came along with perky blonde cheerleader, no one would get mad at her. It was nearly impossible to get mad at Cosette, like some kind of universal anomaly that radiated niceness brighter than the sun.

All these factors had most girls wanting to be her friend (Only a few wished for more) and nearly every guy wanting to date her. She was, in a few misplaced words, the most eligible girl in her entire high school. Unfortunately, these factors also meant she was incredibly intimidating to any guy who dared decide he wanted to date her.

One poor soul who wanted to prove to everyone that she was a girl just like any other, was a young man by the name or Gustav de Courfeyrac, although his morals had driven him to reject the de, and his friendly and joking attitude had caused his name to be reduced to simply ‘Courfeyrac’ and at times when one didn’t have the energy or time to say the full name, simply ‘Courf’. As far as popularity went, Courfeyrac was like a male mirror of Cosette. He had numerous friends from all walks of the school and was whom most girls and some boys lusted after. Unlike Cosette, he brought a flirtatious aspect to all his friendships, often resulting in broken hearts over the boy with the beautiful curls.

One Thursday morning, Courfeyrac stood at his locker, speaking with, or rather being spoken to by his best friend Marius.

“She’s just completely perfect, I don’t get it.” Marius was awkward and tripped rather easily over himself, but Courfeyrac had taken him under the wing and helped him with his anxiety.

“Does she have a boyfriend?” Courfeyrac said as he hefted a few books into his locker. 

“Well no…” Marius started

“Then why don’t you ask her out?”

“You’re joking right?” Marius froze, because at that moment, Cosette was walking down the hallway to her locker. To most people, someone walking down the hall was not something to stop and marvel at, but with Cosette, Marius saw a beautiful bright light shining behind her as if the angels had opened their wings and set their daughter free.

As she passed, Marius’s eyes followed her, awestruck by how amazing she was even doing mundane things like walking to her locker.

“You don’t get it Courf,” Marius sighed as he leaned against the lockers next to his best friend’s. “You can’t just ask out a girl like that.”

“Then what are you supposed to do? Summon her using the power of the all mighty Lord Satan?” Courfeyrac laughed and filled his beaten bag with all the book he would need for his first class.

“That’s not funny.” Marius still hadn’t turned around, now he was watching Cosette open her locker from a few yards away.

Courfeyrac closed his locker and slung his bag over his shoulder. He patted Marius’s shoulder and leaned in close to keep his voice low as he spoke. “She’s only human. I’ll ask her out and prove to you that she’s just another person like you and me.”

“What about Combeferre?” Marius raised his eyebrow. He wasn’t sure exactly how Courf’s current boyfriend would react to this kind of experiment,

“Combeferre, will have a lot to say about it, especially since it’s so much about the man asking the woman out.” Courfeyrac smirked and did his best imitation of his boyfriend “Although it could be argued that this could actually be a step in feminism, considering how much she’s idolized by the boys of this school, it could help to remind them that she’s equal to them blah blah blah more Combeferre over analyzing…”

On that note, he left Mairus at that locker and walked straight over to Cosette’s, all with the natural casualness that he flaunted so well.

“Hey Cosette.” He leaned against the lockers next to hers, a mischievous yet dashing smirk on his face.

She saw him and smiled and Marius- who was watching from Courf’s locker- could have sworn the lights in the hallway got brighter.

“Hey Courfeyrac.” Cosette said with as much perkiness as ever. She was going through the same ritual of books and folders that Courfeyrac had been going through only moments earlier.

“So look, I was wondering if you’re doing anything Friday night. Maybe we could hit up the ice rink or something.”

Cosette stopped putting things in her locker and turned her head to look at him with a face full of worry.

“You mean like a date?”

Courfeyrac nodded eagerly.

“Oh no, Courf, I’m already in a relationship. I’m so sorry.” Cosette patted his arm and offered a hug, as if she had just insulted him. He shook his head at the hug with a confused look on his face.

“Sorry for being so nosey but, who?”

Cosette smiled really wide thinking about it, like she got a new surge of energy.

“Her name’s Eponine, do you know her? She’s like really funny and super cute you should meet her.”

Courfeyrac nodded, still a little confused, he wasn’t sure why he was so shocked. Maybe it’s because he’d never really seen her with anyone. It was probably because everyone assumed she was straight and so when she was with other girls, it looked normal. But the name Eponine sounded familiar to him.

Suddenly the warning bell rang and they both said a quick goodbye to each other and scrambled back to class.

* * *

 

“So what exactly happened?” Marius whispered to Courfeyrac while he was trying to focus on protons. 

“She has a girlfriend.” Courf whispered back, scribbling down a few answers.

“WHAT?” Marius spoke the word a little too loud and got an eye from the teacher.

“She has a girlfriend, her name is… fuck it’s like Polly, no wait it started with an E. What was it, Evelline? Emma?”

Marius swallowed hard. “Eponine?”

“Yeah, Eponine. You know her?”

Marius turned back to his book, although his face had gone pale and he clearly wasn’t paying attention to the book.

“Marius, spill.” Courf jabbed Marius in the ribs with his elbow, getting more looked from the teacher.

“You know Montparnasse, right?” Marius didn’t look up from his book.

“Yeah… oh shit. Is she-”

Marius nodded. Both boys looked back down at their books, but neither one could focus on the page. Both were too wrapped up in these new developments. Due to this, they didn’t get their work done, but both had to promise to come to the teachers detention for as long as it took to actually finish the work.

* * *

 

Detention actually was the perfect place for them to go considering recent events. Eponine was already in the back of the room when they arrived, her chunky boots propped up on a desk. Marius and Courfeyrac finished their assignment quickly, but lingered on afterwards, stealing glances at each other and Eponine. 

Finally the teacher left the room ‘to check some things’ and he told them if he came back and they were gone they’d all get double detention.

Eponine took the time to pull out a cigarette and light it. Courf and Marius glanced at each other for a moment then made their way back to sit in front and beside her. Her reaction to this was as follows:

“Fuck off.”

Courf smiled his most salesman like smile.

“So, tell me about your friend.” Courf was being overly energetic, which wasn’t really his fault because he didn’t know what else to be.

“I ain’t have any friends.”

Marius cringed at her grammar but managed to compose himself quickly enough to ask her: “What about Cosette?”

Eponine froze. She glanced back and forth between the two of them. For a moment her eyes darted to the door. Courfeyrac noticed where her eyes were going and he shifted so he’d be ready to stop her. She locked her jaw and pouted.

“What do you mean, ‘what about Cosette’?” Eponine scowled at the two of them.

“Are you two together?”

Eponine went bright red at the question. Marius was confused, and Courfeyrac was excited for gossip. Normally, Courf wouldn’t really talk to Eponine. Actually it was more Eponine that wouldn’t talk to him. She was one of the toughest girls in the school. If she wasn’t skipping a class, she was sleeping in it. She glared at everybody who dared try to talk to her, and she hung out with the guy who was known to have at least 3 knives on him at all times. Eponine just wasn’t a nice girl.

“So what if we are?” She had gathered her wits and was biting back responses like nobody’s business. She crossed her arms and bite down on her cigarette.

“We were just curious if it was true.” Courfeyrac shrugged. “It was just the way she described you wasn’t… what we thought we knew about you.”

Eponine leaned forward in her desk with her eyes narrowed and her shoulders pulled forward. She looked like a cat ready to rip his throat out. “And what did you think you knew about me?”

Marius looked ready to pee his pants, but Courf hid his fear well. Apart from a small gulp before he spoke.

“Just that you weren’t what she described. She said you were really funny and super cute. I think those were her exact words.”

For a brief moment, Eponine’s face lightened as she thought about how Cosette had really said that about her. But then she realized if they didn’t believe Cosette…

“Are you saying I’m not funny or cute?”

Marius looked ready to run from the room and pee his pants, even he wasn’t the one getting the glares. Courfeyrac finally figured out what he was doing and he copied Eponine’s posture and tone.

“I’m saying I never expected you and Cosette to be a couple.” Courfeyrac replied.

“Well, that’s too bad, because we are. The loviest, doviest couple you’ll ever meet. ” Eponine sat back in her chair, a smug grin on her face.

The teacher returned from his something and Courf and Marius handed in their assignments and left. Marius turned back and looked at Eponine and received a spink tongue stuck out at him.

* * *

 

“I’m worried about Cosette. That girl is dangerous. She's broken into my house before you know.” Marius kicked a rock as he walked. He usually walked with his head down to watch where he was going, so it wasn’t that abnormal when his head was a little lower than usual.

“You’re just jealous. Or mad that Cosette’s gay.” Courf smirked, deep down he was glad. This school needed more than just the run of the mill gay and bisexual guys. It would help their diversity having a lesbian couple around, even one that was so… unconventional.

“She could just be bi.” Marius snapped as he brought his head up. “I still have a chance.”

Courf stopped and turned to face Marius. “Look, you know as well as I do that, morally, that’s wrong. You can’t hope for a break up. I mean, unless the relationship is toxic-”

“IT IS.” Marius exclaimed. “Eponine is dangerous, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it. She’s probably awful to Cosette. She probably threatens her.”

Courfeyrac frowned deeply at his friend. “Marius stop it. That’s wrong, you know it’s wrong. Don’t assume shit like that, especially not when you’ve never seen them together.”

Marius shut up for the rest of the walk.

* * *

A few weeks past where Marius was grumbling and sad with Courf telling him to suck it up, but then Eponine walked by them at Courf’s locker. Just like the weeks before, Marius’s eyes followed Eponine as if she were Cosette. He nudged Courf to get his attention.

They watched Eponine go up to Cosette’s locker and become a completely different person. She smiled through the entire conversation and looked about ready to cover Cosette’s face in kisses. It was almost like Eponine was sweet.

Combeferre joined them and after giving Courf a kiss on the cheek, followed their gazes. “What the hell? Cosette and Eponine?” Courf and Marius nodded in unison. The two girls were still unaware that they were being watched so they continued being cute as two buttons.

They were soon joined by Grantaire and Bahorel, who crowded around also. Everyone watching and gasping when Eponine and Cosette kissed. That had gotten Eponine’s attention -although Cosette was still clueless- And she gave them all a smirk. As Feuilly join in on their group shock, Eponine took the chance to kiss Cosette hard, almost doing a full dip and then acting like it was completely normal.

Eventually Bossuet came around to Courf’s locker. He has a bandage on his head, but everyone had learned to just accept whatever new injury he had.

“What’s going on guys?” He, like Combeferre, followed their sight line and found the girls everyone was apparently mesmerized by.

“What? You guys didn’t know? They’ve been dating for months. I’ve never seen either of them so happy.” Bossuet laughed and walked down the hall, waving to Eponine as he passed. 

 

 


End file.
